Lay Report: Google Translate SDL in Russia, feat. Gollum

Not this hot but similar look. Minus a point and add on some meat

It’s been about 1 whole year since I last hit up Russia so was looking forward to going back for a full 2 week jaunt, which is my longest jaunt to date as I normally go away for around 10 days. Within the first week Gollum The Great Gamma (GGG) and myself had just finished dinner and were walking up along the main street at about 8.30pm. GGG and I were still laughing as GGG had a sore stomach so went into 3 different pharmacies wanting stomach medicine. Strangely all of the pharmacies said ‘No’ with a concerned look on their face.

“How the fuck does 3 different pharmacies not have medicine for a bad stomach?” We thought. “That’s like a hospital saying we don’t do any stitches here”. As it turns out, Google Translate messed up the translation and was asking for “do you have medicine for stomach cancer?” No wonder they looked concerned.

As we were still chuckling to ourselves, I popped into a shop to buy an after dinner Twix Extra as a reward for a hard day’s number farm. As we leave, I see a cute girl walk past all in black, wearing a low cut top displaying an awesome cleavage. With a half-eaten Twix in my hand, I go in.


Hi, I know this is random, but I think you look very pretty… (chomp, chomp, chomp) I like your dark alternative look (chomp, chomp)


я не понимаю


Great. Another girl that speaks no English.

The Mr White Twix approach ™

Most of the time I can’t be bothered with using Google Translate on the approach, but this girl had a sparkle in her eye. I could tell she was interested. After a bit of back and forth on Google Translate while stuffing the rest of the Twix into my mouth, I find out her name is Masha, 22 years old, a local here in Moscow and is just walking around this evening. I ask whether she has a boyfriend and she says no. When there is a big language barrier, I always make sure I ask this question so they know what my intent is- nothing is lost in translation. I suggest we go for a drink and she accepts.

I bounce Masha to a small cocktail bar with just 4 seats at the bar, almost like the small bars you would see in the side streets of Tokyo. We order in the drinks as we sit in complete silence, passing Google Translate to each other, building comfort. The waiters behind the bar are constantly looking over in disbelief at what is happening here. Always a funny sight.

Masha then says she can’t get drunk as she has a work meeting at 10.30pm as she is helping her friend with her business. I was slightly disappointed to hear this as it felt on so I thought we can have one drink then I’ll take her number. I continue with my standard date structure.

(Note: all dialog below is over Google Translate. There was not one word of English spoken)

After these drinks, let’s go for a quick walk. You still have about 45 minutes


After the drinks I walk Masha to a small park close to where we met and we sit down on a bench as I start to escalate physically and verbally.

You know, there is something I have been waiting to do

What’s that?

I go for this kiss and she tentatively kisses me back.

It’s a nice evening so let’s go for more drinks. Reschedule your meeting for another day

I’m not sure. I’ve been waiting a while for this meeting

There is more to life than work. Reschedule it for next week. We can have an adventure

What type of adventure?

We can either go for drinks in another bar or we can get some drinks at my apartment

If we go to your apartment, you will pester me

No, I’m a good boy. Like Harry Potter

‘Pester’. I love that translation. I could tell she was genuinely thinking about it so I make the decision to lead by just standing up and taking her by the hand. As we are walking, Masha opens up her phone and starts typing into Viber. I could tell she was messaging her friend to cancel the meeting. Awesome.

We get back into my apartment and crack open some beers; I leave Masha checking her phone while I go for a piss. As I am washing my hands I hear GGG say ‘Hello’ and Masha laughing. As it turns out she accidentally walked into his room, no doubt seeing Gollum in his dark cave eating a raw fish. Luckily she didn’t run out of the house.

The image I had in my mind

I threw another raw fish into Gollum’s room to keep him occupied and escorted Masha into my room.

I put on a film and slowly start to escalate. The last minute resistance commenced for an hour, where Masha would roll off and just put her face close up to mine so our noses are almost touching and stare into my eyes without saying anything, exactly like the Slovakian a month earlier. I could tell she was making her decision about taking things further.

At one point Masha’s phone started blowing up with messages and she suddenly got up, walked to the window and took a photo of the location outside. I suddenly started getting really nervous as I was wondering who the hell could she be sending it to? The KGB? The Russian Mafia? Putin?

I double locked the front door for my own safety and returned to the bedroom. Masha then explained she was sending the photo to her brother so he knows where to pick her up from later. I breathed a sigh of relief.

After a while, I continue the escalation but Masha was still slightly hesitant. As we are kissing on my bed I slowly get my hard dick out and put her hand on it. Bang. Instantly a switch was flicked in her mind and I was soon fucking her wet Russian pussy.

We fuck again and before she leaves I go to exchange numbers as Masha seems keen to meet again before I leave. Masha inputs her number and as I go to write her name, I come to the realisation I cannot for the life of me remember what her name was. Masha looked at me in disbelief. I pointed to the phone then myself as in “Ok, what’s my name then?” Masha paused then just cracked up laughing- she also had no idea.

Here we were, lying on my bed, dripping in sweat after fucking for the last hour or so and we had no idea what each other’s names were.

Got to love these moments.

Overall, it was an enjoyable return to Russia; I was aiming to get a +2 this trip but I can’t complain as it was a good notch and an even better story out of it. I have been to Russia various of times before so I knew it wouldn’t be easy, especially as 50% of the girls speak poor to zero English. I got a lot of numbers, with most of the girls replying but would eventually flake on the date requests. I dated 6 other girls (not including this SDL) and kissed 3 of them but they all ended up going nowhere. Gollum also got a +1 with a nice ‘K’ girl so it was a good trip all round.

4 thoughts on “Lay Report: Google Translate SDL in Russia, feat. Gollum

  1. >> (Note: all dialog below is over Google Translate. There was not one word of English spoken)

    I had a “same day de-lay” with a girl in Tokyo on my 2nd daygame trip. Some of the best casual sex I have ever had… it was really, really good for girl I could barely talk to and knew nothing about.

    But post sex… trying to use G Translate in bed is hard. On your back, over your head? Or on your elbows?

    Not easy. Great girl. But hard to talk to her.


  2. Pingback: 2018 Daygame Results, Stats and Overview – Mr White Daygame

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