Lay Report: I Have Never…

I last went to Belgrade 3 years ago in 2015 and found the blowouts and flakes were through the roof due to the fact of how burnt the city was getting with all the daygamers hitting it up so I decided to leave it a couple of years before returning this March with Ricky Roma and Nick Krauser. It wasn’t as bad this time round and we spent the days number farming and going for beers in the evening.

One evening we decide to try and find a bar that is showing the boxing and end up finding an Irish/Dive bar 5 minutes off Knez Mihailova. They are not showing the boxing so Ricky ends up streaming it from his phone so we can watch it while drinking- very high value. Once it has finished, Nick heads home as Ricky and I decide to carry on drinking. Half way through my beer I look behind me and I see a group of three cute-ish looking girls I decide to open indirectly by asking them if there are any good bars to go to close by. We chat and they end up inviting Ricky and I to sit with them as they are playing a drinking game called ‘I have never’, and said we could join in.

For anyone who doesn’t know the game, the rules are pretty simple. Somebody has to say ‘I have never’ then simply say something which they have never done. Anyone in the group, who has done that thing, has to drink. It’s a fun way of getting secrets out of your friends while getting drunk in the process.

We join the group and I make sure to sit next to the girl that I am interested in as I mix up playing the game with the whole group while building rapport with her as I find out her name is Jovana and is a student there in Belgrade. We are all having a good laugh while the game is getting increasingly sexual. It was Ricky’s turn..

 

 I have never cheated in a relationship

 

Boom. Without hesitation all three girls drink- looks like we’ve got some minxes on our hands.

It was my turn next and I thought I would try something a bit different due to their homogeneous culture. In Serbia it is pretty rare to see a black person and most Serbs don’t even come into contact with them; they also use the ‘N’ word to describe a black person, which you just can’t get away with in the West.

 

I have never been with a black person

 

Jovana embarrassingly looks down in shame and starts drinking while her two friends look over in complete disbelief. I just got her in trouble.

It was one of the girls’ turn next.

 

I have never been with more than 10 people

 

Ricky and I drink while all girls look over in shock as though it was a high number; Jovana turns to me and says

 

Ten Really?! That’s impossible!

 

It was at this moment that I questioned if she really was the minx I thought she was.

Soon after, the bar closes as the girls call a taxi to a club. Ricky and I didn’t really fancy it so I number close Jovana out of sight from her friends and we make plans to go for a drink before I leave.

Fast forward a couple of days and I meet Jovana for the date. Things are going well and she turns out to be quite a sweet girl saying she was in a relationship for 4 years but broke up with him 3 months ago and I’m the first guy she has been on a date with since. I use this piece of information to tell her it’s important while she is still young to be free, single and have adventures as life is short.

We kiss and I invite her back to my place, she agrees but can’t stay long as she needs to get the last bus back home. I show Jovana round the apartment, put on a film and within 20 minutes of it starting my dick is deep inside her.

As we are laying side by side, my mind casts back to what she said in the bar and how she thought sleeping with more than 10 people was ‘impossible’ so I ask her how many men she had slept with. Jovana looked quite embarrassed at first and it took me a while to get it out of her

 

Well… I’ve now slept with 24 men

 

Oh, how come you were shocked when we said more than 10?

 

Ah, I thought you meant more than 10 at the same time!

 

What a sloshpot.

 

Overall Belgrade was a bit of a disappointment this time round as Jovana was my only notch. We were there for 10 days and the first 5-6 days were a bit too quiet and then the leads we did have all started to leave the city for Orthodox Easter.

I had a near miss on my last night as I got a girl back onto my bed kissing. As soon as I touched her boobs she slapped me and lost her mind because I ‘didn’t ask for permission’ then ran out of the apartment. She was a complete nutcase as she even turned up to the date stoned and had dropped a few ant-depressants. I realised I should have left her for Roy Walker.

Belgrade can be a great city for daygame but as this trip was my fifth time there I think I am now officially done with it. Time for pastures new.

BG
Another set to nowhere
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